I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
they need to just BURY HIM!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
