I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
