You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
