Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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