I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
