I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she pinky promised me she was 18
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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