I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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