I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize