pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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