Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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