apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
