i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize