mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
two words...techno handjob
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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