im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
