belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
