Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize