we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
