I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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