I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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