lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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