I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sobbing to NWA
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
