Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
