I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
