i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
