Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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