I cockslap morals
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
