Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
