May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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