it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
