So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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