Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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