It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
