I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
