yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize