Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
