why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
