I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
