i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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