I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
