I am puke
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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