Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
