Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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