I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
