I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
