piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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