Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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