If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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