what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
