I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
do nipples grow back?
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