He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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