At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
