he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Your cock deserves a montage
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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