he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
