Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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