Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
