I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
