im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize