I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
