hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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