I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize