I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
