these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
