So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
