Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
