All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
